In a way, yes, I definitely survived, but I wouldn't call it that. I persevered and just was able to find some tiny bit of hope and some tiny bit of trust that somehow it was going to work itself out.

It wasn't really until 10 years after that I started to see that I should be thinking about grieving for myself.I surprise myself when I'm able to, not do what I've done in the past. Not allow it to stay with me as long. And so that is at least an indicator that I've come a long way.  I'm not feeling that like raw pain anymore. It's not like it just happened yesterday. I'm getting to this place now where I'm open to that idea of like creating my life.

I made it. I made it out. I got my degree and I raised my kids and now I bought a house and I actually have a career.

I speak as someone who...  feels like I've lived 20 lives. As someone who has wisdom. 

I speak as someone who has been through a lot, but who has persevered.  And persevered and persevered and persevered. And I speak as someone who just won't give up.  I can't give up. 

I speak as someone who has two children that I just can't imagine my life without.  I speak as a teacher, a daughter, a sister, a mother, a cousin, and a friend, 

I speak as someone who loves myself now, and it took a long time for that to happen. I speak as someone who has been through the fire and has come out the other side stronger and more confident and just ready. Ready to really be happy.