I'm a doctor and I work with abuse patients, victims a lot, and I've seen some really horrible things, right? I never had bruises. I never ended up in the emergency department. I'm not dead. Realistically I did have a lot more resources than other people do. So it just, it feels really arrogant to call myself a survivor when I haven't been through those same things. 

I think I'm still in the midst of my trauma. I left July 10th, 2022.

I had my children's names picked up. I was supposed to be a mom right now. 

I struggle with PTSD.  And I feel behind.  And I feel like I failed. I'm a psychiatrist and I feel like I should have seen this coming.

I speak as someone who's slowly rebuilding myself.

I think I'm someone who needs a good amount of external validation.

I had myself questioning, not my identity as a woman, but my value as a woman.

And I'm rebuilding that sense of identity. The thing I've confirmed for myself recently is, I'm a good doctor. And I think I am likable.